are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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