guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
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