he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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