i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Randomize
