i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
