You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
