i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
