It's Friday. Sex?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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