i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
