Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
