She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize