she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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