her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
