i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
