we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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