Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
