Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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