Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
