May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
