Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize