You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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