Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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