can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Randomize
