so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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