Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I CAN MOONWALK!
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
