Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
