We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Randomize
