You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
