Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize