Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
