I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
