his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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