help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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