I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
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