everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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