Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Success! We fucked roommates!
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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