i just wanna soil my oats bro
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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