she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
