Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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