So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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