so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Randomize