3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
