I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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