Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
