I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
