dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Sext me about skeletons
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize