I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
So vagazzling was a success
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
im on a boat
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