I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
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