Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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