Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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