Those balls look pretty dangerous.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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