and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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