I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
