It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
