you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
