Only a mothe r could love this liver
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Randomize