Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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