Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
