Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
