i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
