I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
