dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
