i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
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