If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
