You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
